I still had a great concern, my old friend back, had plenty of room for her now, and so It happened. For fear of the pain could lead me to do, I called someone and ask her to take all the medicine boxes from my house, mostly sedatives, I knew I could not be keeping It.
I sleep only one hour a night, waking at dawn and walking through the house, the space is so small, walking in circles.
I did everything I could to ward off the pain until the month of August, I worked for every day of the week, six in the morning was already in the office, It lasted one year and eleven months. I had to keep my head busy and buried myself in my work.
The only thing I wanted was to leave also, I had nothing else to do here. My Father, how It hurts... How can the chest that I leaned my head an hour for another disappears? we were one... I remember when he talked with friends about me, so proudly. How I respect his individuality, as encouraged to buy the junk as it used to speak, things he liked to do, crazy about computers, animals, airplanes and photography, I did not deny effort to make his wills ...He was my boy .
With shame, I will tell a story, as He reveled in my way ... He thought that I was unique because He had never met a woman like me ... (laughs). We were at the mall ( I hate, and he too) suddenly my sandal broke, the sole took off and I was not able to walk, then he turned to me and said, Benhê, let's enjoy that we're here, go into a shoe store and buy a new sandal, you are needing, in response, pointed the finger back him, we were in front of Bom Preço (supermarket) and said, let's go in here, He smiled wondering why I said, we purchase a Super Bond and glue It ... Wow! How this man laughed at my face ... He told this to everyone.
Here begins my journey without him, ah! I can not forget my old friend, depression. We were joined again.
As I said, working all the days for almost 12 hours, I thought that I could reduce distress, but the desire to be nowhere only increased, could no longer pray, for what? That's what more I did during the last five months and nothing worked ...
Six, seven months after, reading my emails, I saw one that caught my attention, someone of the same site of relationships where I met my husband, was sending a message, I went to my account to check, It did not need the password, as page was opened through a link addressed to me, as if It were the case ... I no longer have.
I see the message, and there was written that a person had liked my profile. Curious went to see who this person was, and He was on line, I heard a little noise and a message arrived: Perfect ... Loved it! I said... Thanks.
The conversation was initiated this point. The person introduced himself:
I'm forty-nine years old, I'm carioca, born in Tijuca, divorced nine years ago, a child of eighteen years old, who lives with his mother, I am a resident of Ipanema, professional journalist and editor of a TV station, surfer in my spare time, a man who seeks and believes in love and every month spend at least a week in your beautiful land, his mother was baiana. He continued his presentation: In 2010 I was diagnosed with a lymphoma Myeloid type F (Cancer), went through chemotherapy and radiotherapy and almost lost my life, I was released in June 2013, I am alone since 2010 and today only want someone to love , and enjoy a new lease of life I'm having.
I was shocked, I had gone through all this and I was overcome by compassion, we chatted for a while, from time to time it wanted to be hot, but I avoided and therefore just ended our conversation.
In the second message sent, asked if I had Facebook and we exchanged our addresses, so it already had access to all my life, family, friends, photos, ultimately, our lives are biographee in the face. His somewhat locked, this caught my attention, but I thought It was peeve I was always expecting the worst through what I went through. We had also exchanged our contact numbers, and every day I received at least one call. Time passed and in a certain way, it was good, I was not so alone.
I talked with my mom about it, and she said with all the purity, it helps my daughter ... do not walk away ... not think it was unique because the whole world wondered, you're crazy, just to go through all this and will bring problem for you?
He used to send beautiful messages, signing as the author.
Had a blog created since April 2009, where he posted his criticism, ideas, self help texts and beautiful poems, speaking of love and God as anyone.
Also had an account on Youtube, with videos of reports made by him, all very well done, impossible for a human being not believe his conversation.