terça-feira, 6 de outubro de 2015

The Invisible World of Women - Page 1


As I promised, here begins the first page of the book of my life: THE INVISIBLE WORLD OF A WOMAN.
I hope to make myself understood, maybe when this is all over, I do not have more reason to have a virtual life and even the blog and it's time to step aside ... honestly do not know ... I'm still writing. ..
Will I have to go back in time to understand my story, especially with regard to my faith, to be who I am and the discoveries that come out every time that sales of the my eyes are drawn ...
I am not a writer and I never claim to be, which led me to hold this pen is something much stronger than me, will not hold me to detail and actually not even know where to start ... Just I need to do. Our paths lead us to live situations and the same will find strength in doing ... Anyway here begins.
I'm an accountant, I always had more intimacy with numbers, words have never been my strong point ... I even imagine that Accounting was an exact science, scared when I found out it was not, but human, was in fact a scare, but not enough to make me give up. (laughs)
I studied in public schools, in my option, declined to give further expense to my father, who was already paying school for four. In the first basic year would have to choose the scientific course that would prepare for an entrance exam, or a technical course, and once again opted for the technical course, because that's what the public school offered, going to school at night, guess what? Yes, Accounting. I also had a sister who was already at the university and she did Accountancy, I admired, and I believe this has also influenced my choice I always liked to study, never did recover, although some materials gave me a lot of work, I did not see the numbers on them. Finishing the third year of high school, I needed to have at least notion of some subjects, I started to make a pre-university preparatory course, extensive, six months was wondering how it was, to know the tastes as feared and signed up to provide the college entrance exam, and oddly enough, there were still six months to be ready, but I went, and it was not luck or ability as many thought ... Why am I telling you this? Because today I understand that what I was talking made perfect sense. When people came to congratulate me, I answered, it was not me, it was my father, this time referring to the Our Father, for I knew it was not my merit, was handpicked and pushed into the UEFS - University Estadual de Feira de Santana, a well-attended event, a public university and I there as part of this new world, I had to have at least the humility to recognize that in fact it was not my merit.
In the first half went well, as I said never made a recovery, but my shyness made me delay the course, when I met in the second half my professor of Commercial Accounting I - the way he led the class did not like me much, I would have to do a job, but regardless of our performance, our score would be based on the presentation of the same, the team would have to say, I did not see another way out, abandoned or passed in my head lock the discipline, only abandoned, I was very upset with the requirements, (laughs) for my shyness that was an affront, it was too much.
Penultimate half, suffered an assault on the bus, returning home around 23 hours, last bus, the funny thing is that sometimes we had classes that exceeded this time, called the night of suffocation, like coming home? But God in His mercy always found a way, we ended up arranging a ride. This time had an inseparable friend and we used to go through this together. Not to give up the course, after all lacked only one more semester to end, we decided to ask her boyfriend to get in and we helped with the fuel, the campus was far.
In 1992 completing the course, my father passed away, on 03/03/1992, cancer.
I did not want and did not even have to participate in the celebrations, but there was no escape from the delivery of the diploma, I was forced to participate and would be nothing new to say it was one of the saddest days of my life. All my struggle, my dreams, the reason that led me to get where I no longer find more ... Okay Rose, I still have your mother and she deserves this joy, you know, I think it must have been I spent in my head to wait until the end and not run away from there ...
My adolescence was like that of many, differentiated only because I had another inseparable friend, not that I wanted, but she insisted on walking beside me, the famous depression ... He did not like her and was determined not to let her grow old with me. A difficult friendship be stopped, but unable to walk at your side for a long time without major problems.
I always thought that I am not of this world, and the longing and desire to return home was so great, but I knew that the passage would cost me dearly and I was not prepared to pay, like today, I'm not.